Pick Up Artistry is just Con Artistry
Let’s call Pick Up Artists what they really are; con artists.
This is Ross Jeffries (Not to be confused with comedian Jeffery Ross), who is credited as the father of pick-up artistry. He’s not really the inventor. The mythology surrounding him and those like him date back before Cyrano De Bergerac. These people created brands around themselves, painting themselves as lotharios who could bed any unsuspecting (insecure) woman within their vicinity.
Several people have claimed Ross Jeffries lied about the number of women he had been with. His techniques didn’t work. He was known to harass women. He was known to harass people around him, even his students. He wasn’t the Don Juan he claimed to be.
The techniques, if done properly (always the operative word in any con) would yield results. The master teachers could supposedly pull any woman, even celebrities.
Unfortunately, because most of them couldn’t do that, they just made a bunch of crap up.
This is a clip of PUA “Style” on Jimmy Kimmel. Style dazzles the crowd with his off putting appearance and behavior then gets called a nerd, and goes on to not date Jessica Alba. Seems to poke a lot of holes in his theory that this stuff “works”. What it did do, however, was get him on the talk show so he could market his book, expand the PUA brand, and sell more worthless seminars…so there’s that.
BTW, a rather interesting observation. A lot of PUA related to “decoding” non-verbal communication. One thing they mentioned was you unconsciously cross your legs towards your a person when you’re interested in them, and well Jessica Alba’s is pointed away and his are pointed towards. I can’t think of a better metaphor for the PUA scam than some bald nerd in designer clothes trying desperately to get into Jessica Alba circa 2006’s pants. Classic.
I’ll be honest, I don’t get the comments from the fanboys either. Style comes off as slimely, nerdy, and conceited in this interview. He’s not toying with them, so much as he’s being toyed with here. He’s doing a good job of laughing off the “bald” and “nerds” comments — but I can see the pain behind his eyes. He’s not that good of an actor.
I won’t say PUA is completely false. In fact the mark of a good scam is some level of truth. People who are playful and funny are more attractive. Not necessarily more sexually attractive, but certainly will get further in life because people like them. A good example of that is sitting right next to Style, his name is Jimmy Kimmel.
He’s also correct in the book that often if you aren’t very attractive, you can modify your look to a point.
Look, I hate to be the black pill guy, but before PUA understanding why certain guys get laid more is easy.
This guy’s attractive.
These guys aren’t.
This wasn’t a mystery before the 1980s when PUA started. Some guys were blessed with great genetics, others were not. Most celebrities, you see, even the ones known for being “ugly”, are usually attractive, or were attractive at younger ages, some of them just aged more gracefully than others.
Sexy Steve Busecemi.
PUA will often say that “women are not as visual as guys” to which I say bullshit. They may not interact with visual representations (such as porn) or like the same visuals (men seem fascinated by a woman’s private parts, whereas women don’t typically find dicks attractive), but don’t kid yourself, women seek out good looking guys. Unfortunately, sometimes, they don’t even care what their personalities are like (such as if they are abusive). Other times though, they absolutely will go for a guy who is shy, introverted, doesn’t have “game” if they are good looking (and successful).
One of my good friends dates a fighter who’s a good looking chap, but couldn’t even look me in the eye and seems shy as can be. It’s not uncommon for highly skilled, interesting, attractive people to not be the best in presenting themselves. Confidence is great. I’m not knocking confidence. I’m knocking the way PUA sells confidence.
There’s a phrase the PUA space actually coined: “women aren’t vending machines you put nice into until the sex falls out”.
There’s a phrase I’ll say to PUA: “women aren’t vending machines you put confidence in until the sex falls out”.
Unfortunately sometimes confidence is knowing that no matter how good your game is, that woman still will not sleep with you.
Here’s the next retort: PUA says this.
Then there’s no message. Someone once described self-help in general as a genre “that hides all your stuff in front of you, and then finds it all, and you pay him for it”. I feel this is apt metaphor for PUA. PUA preys on an insecurity, hot women not wanting to have sex with you, which isn’t a problem, and then exploits that insecurity.
Whether the message is free or paid for, the product is either the product (a course) or you are the product (making PUA seem more relevant than it is or should be).
No offense to these ladies, but they look like they’re probably strippers.
Which brings me to my next point: many of these PUA’s pay for prostitutes, actresses, strippers, or models to be in their videos.
https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/the-truth-about-dan-bilzerian
Dan Bilzerian was a kind of internet manosphere guy, very adjacent to the PUA space, who was found to pay models to be in the videos with him. Is it possible he banged some or many of them — yeah, sure — but they were in his employ (which brings in tons of ethical questions). Russell Hartley, someone who lived near me for a while, is an attractive charming gentleman, and I think probably gets or got laid a lot as a younger man (he’s also still young) — has paid women to appear in videos (and generally, you probably should do this). Many YouTube man on the street pick up videos are very staged. In fact, the ones that are not generally are great fodder for comedy, as they run from disastrous to disturbing.
What’s interesting about Russel Hartley though, a modern pick up artist, who at least actually walks the walks, transparently runs a scam. There is a great video by munecat about how he just openly runs a sales funnel. That’s it. He sells video seminars where he pitches more expensive seminars, probably with the same stuff you can find on message boards about pick up artistry. At the point they just openly run pyramid schemes as well. Some of them even now do MLMs, or sell luxury products.
This is part of PUA becoming an institution, of course. Everything becomes a brand. There is, however, some thought to be given of when that brand is based on a lie.
This was.
The Game was essentially a work of fiction. Many of the PUAs disagree with their depictions. Some characters were created from whole cloth. The story about getting Britney’s number is honestly creepy and violating. She gave her number to a man sent to interview her. She probably thought he did a good job and didn’t want to find out it’s only because he wanted to bang her that he conducted a fun interview*. Some of the stories are thought to be fabricated. Much like a spiritual successor, Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell which is at least a more admitted degree of fiction. Unfortunately, with The Game is wasn’t starting a movement, but in stead, creating a pyramid scheme where coaches took on students, who become coaches, who take on students, and so on, until every one looks like this.
It’s so weird these guys never show up on page 6 with their arms wrapped around Scarlett Johansson, why is that Colin Jost?
Why doesn’t Colin Jost talk about women like they’re sex objects and dress like a goth magician, I’m confused?
Like, I don’t get it? What’s this guy got that I don’t? Maybe my hat doesn’t have enough feathers in it.
I mean Tom Holland totally has some drip here…
Why isn’t he is all conceivable colors of the visible and non visible spectrum? What could be the reason she is attracted to him.
Seriously. This isn’t hard. Good looking women are attracted to good looking guys. Many of them, unfortunately for some of us, seem to have full heads of hair (get to the gym dudes). Most of them are successful — but some at least gain relationships on the journey to being successful.
They also can get the most sex if they want to go that route.
If you needed a hundred dollar seminar to explain that to you, God help you.
Just accept where you’re at in that marketplace and move on.
*(If there aren’t strings of sexual harassment lawsuits coming if these stories are completely true it’s only because people probably see these guys as pathetic).